Thursday, May 22, 2008

Why Soccer is not American

Last night I stayed up to watch the European League "Football" Championship game which is essentially the Superbowl of European soccer. I was happy to watch it and enjoyed the game but was reminded why "football" will never be popular in America.
1. Football is already the most popular sport. Just the fact that we call football, "soccer" and we call American Football, "football" shows that Americans are unwilling to accept the alternative. For the sake of this post I will now call soccer, soccer so that we are not confused.

2. Soccer players are whimps. Granted they are in better shape than the rest of the people on earth and their talents are absolutely amazing. But, if they get bumped, they fall to the ground, cover their face, and wince in hopes of getting a foul called. Americans want to see real violence and hits that are hard enough to actually knock a person out. You can compare the "hard" fouls of the NBA vs the "soft" fouls of International Basketball. Last night there were a few fouls that drew blood and one fight so that is a positive for soccer.

3. There is not enough scoring in soccer. It may not be right, but Americans would rather see a 10-9 soccer game than a 1-0 match. Of course the fact that last night's game was decided after 6 penalty kicks was exciting.. it just took 120 minutes of game time to get there. Some may argue that Baseball is also boring but I will offer the international alternative of "Cricket" as the counter-argument to that. They have matches that last 3-4 days and the fans eagerly await the outcome which would never be acceptable in the USA.

4. Mullets are still acceptable in soccer. Nothing to say here.

5. The fans are willing to sing, fight, and stand for the entire game. This is actually a criticism of Americans. We don't have enough fun watching our sports games (except for college sports in which the crowds are greatly aided through the work of "mixer-man". Soccer fans sing for the entire game, they fight fans of the opposite team, and they stand in the rain and snow without a break (of course they too are influenced by "mixer-man"). Some exceptions exist such as Red Sox -Yankees games, Game 7 of NBA finals, and during the commercials of the NFL Superbowl.

I am glad that MLS is surviving in the USA and that many children play the sport but please do not think we will ever embrace this sport like the rest of the world. When the World Cup comes around in 2010 I plan on staying awake along with Scott C to watch the games but it will never capture my heart.


Ryan said...

Mixer Man- This is a term used by Washington State University fans for the people who sell Coca Cola at the game. NCAA rules forbid the sale of Alcohol so fans buy Coke to mix with whatever beverage they can fit in their coat pockets.

Scott said...

ha ha ha great post. We also don't like sports that finish in a tie. Who wants to watch 90 minutes of a game only to have the result be... there was no result. We want a definite winner and a definite loser. Though, I will take it over hockey any day of the week!

derek said...

I left work to watch the game.

Ryan I disagree with you, I think your perspective needs to change.

What other sport still embraces the mullet, celebrates by taking clothes off, shoots fireworks in doors [by spectators] and throws toilet paper?

I understand that all these occur at Monster truck rallies in Riverside County- both in the 909 and 951. But that is totally different, this is Europa my friend.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with all of you. If the sport takes longer than 4.5 seconds and travels slower than 325 mph. it's just something to watch not something to live.gREG

Nicholas said...

That soccer game was pretty awesome, especially that header save by Chelsea's defender, one guy who is not a sissy. I will say that the Western conference of the NBA must have taken lessons from those sissy soccer players. My Dad and I were comparing the games for Boston or Detroit to pretty much any game in the Western Conference. The difference in the number of foul calls and millions of flops was ridiculous. As long as people like Cristiano Ronaldo, who falls over if someone breathes on him, stay away from other sports, maybe this problem can be contained.

Jon Chenot said...

Is this a good representation of sissy soccer players?

Ryan said...

Scott- I agree that it is better than hockey for the most part mainly because hockey will play for 5 days until someone scores.

Derek- Good point. Like I said, it is like college football.

Greg- See Derek's comment, I think you will find company over the mountains.

Nick- Lets be honest. Basketball is almost as "sissy" as soccer (Tim Duncan is evidence of that) but it is much more enjoyable to watch. Especially if you are cheering for the Lakers.

Jon- Yeah.

life is confusing said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lauren said...

As a player I can tell you that the dive technique is annoying. With that said I think you are insane for thinking that soccer isn't rough enough. I have personally contributed to a broken arm, broken femur, a broken nose and numerous other less severe injuries. tempers run high because it only takes one small hit to end a career as well.

that game was great and Im glad to hear you watched it.

PS I am no sissy, watch your generalizations.haha

Kevin said...

I will start by saying that I am bias in that I play Ice Hockey:

But here it is, Ryan and Scott- you are both wrong, even though Hockey is fighting to stay alive in the US, it will always be better that Soccer. This is true for the reason that Ryan stated the US will not accept Soccer. At least in Hockey there is hard play and plenty of good friendly fights :)

Also, there is far more scoring in Hockey than there ever is in Soccer, especially since after the NHL strike that concluded with a slight change in the rules. The NHL playoffs have been very exciting with plenty of high scoring games. In one game the penguins scored 3 points within 3 minutes.

However, I will end this rant in my defense of hockey to state that the only unfortunate thing about the NHL is that players here also think it is still okay to sport the mullet.


Nicholas said...

aww Lauren. I have a fond memory of you leveling a girl at that soccer game at UCI. So you are definitely one of the exceptions to the world of soccer.

Ryan- All I have to say is that at least Duncan doesn't whine as much as Gasol. :) I just hope that Garnett wins a ring. The Detroit/Boston series has been far more enjoyable to watch than the West. I'm pretty sure that every player on both Boston and Detroit would have fouled out if they played in the Western Division. They'd need the coaches to finish the game.