The Corn Bread Caper

Last week my wife asked me to stop by the store and buy two things for dinner, canned corn and corn bread mix. Two items, that’s all I had to find. My wife had a certain level of confidence in my ability to successfully track down two items and bring them home… I knew better.

5:05 PM I arrived at the store and began walking the aisles.
5:08 PM I find the canned foods aisle and find the corn.
I didn’t realize all of the choices I would have to make to successfully choose a can of corn. I found sweet corn, creamed corn, no preservative corn, regular yellow corn, and a few other options of corn that I couldn’t see a good reason for. I made a choice based on the best criteria I knew… price.

5:09 PM With the cheapest can of corn in my hand I confidently headed off for my final item. 4 minutes into my adventure and I am already halfway to my goal.

5:18 PM I find myself returning down the same aisles that I already searched. I wander past other men staring blankly at a whole row of items that only confuse the male mind. I begin searching for an old lady who would certainly know where to find corn bread but all I can find are more confused looking men picking up items for their wives.

5:23 PM I am ready to give up. I walk to the front of the store with a can of cheap corn and ask the girl at the check out stand where I can find corn bread mix. She tells me aisle 7 or 8 so I return to the place I had already checked out several times just minutes before.

5:28 PM I find a 16 year old boy who is stocking shelves and ask in desperation if this store even carries corn bread mix. He turns around and points at the corn bread mix section and wishes me luck. I reach down and pick the first bag of mix I see and head off to the long lines of after-work shoppers.

5:35 PM I finally check out and head home. I arrive home and my wife already found a can of corn at home and it was too late to make the corn bread. She says, “thanks anyway” and we sit down to eat dinner.

I can find cereal, milk, meat, and drinks in the grocery store. Anything beyond that is too much to ask a man to accomplish. Maybe this is a lack of training or maybe I am just instinctively following the example of Bill Cosby. He says men purposefully mess things up so that their wives quit asking for help. I didn’t do this on purpose but I don’t think I will be asked to “pick up a few items after work” anytime soon.

Quote of the Week

"All men thirst to confess their crimes more than tired beasts thirst for water; but they naturally object to confessing them while other people, who have also committed the same crimes, sit by and laugh at them." Chesterton 1908

What if those of us in the church allowed each other to be honest about struggles, fear, hopes, and dreams? What if we truly experienced a place where authenticity is assumed and fear of ridicule never existed?

Quote of the Week

"My attitude toward progress has passed from antagonism to boredom. I have ceased to argue with people who prefer Thursday to Wednesday because it is Thursday." - Chesterton "New York Times" 2/11/1923

Leave Pluto Alone

One of my favorite morning rituals is driving my two boys to school. I enjoy this time because each day brings new topics for discussion and new observations on the journey. This week the topic has been planets and the solar system. The basketball in the back seat is Jupiter, a tennis ball is earth, and a small “bouncy ball” serves as Mars. My youngest son used the tip of his finger to represent Pluto. I began to explain that Pluto was no longer a planet but when pressed I couldn’t explain why this happened.
My boys questioned the authority of the scientists who stripped this defenseless planet of its status overruled their decision. They literally rejected the notion that a planet could become “not a planet” and continued without giving it any further thought. Already my boys are learning to question and challenge assumptions. I hope this leads to a lifestyle that searches for truth and that is open to answers. I also don’t mind if they are strong enough to “stick to their guns”.

Blogging

Some wonder when they can expect me to post in this blog. I have tried a regular pattern so the readers (my wife and my mom) will know when to check back for new thoughts. But I found that trying to follow a regular pattern becomes forced and then the quality goes down. It is not that I don’t have things to post it is just that some posts require the right timing.

One writing professor I had in college told me to write everyday no matter what. I don’t write everyday but I certainly do write way more than anyone will ever see. I have writings titled, “laying in the grass”, “riding on buses”, “I don’t believe in atheists”, and “running is bad” to name just a few. Some of the writings unveil deeper insights into this world in which we live and others are simply random stories that are amusing to me.

The bottom line is that I look for inspiration everywhere and overlook nothing. When I write I hope to entertain, to challenge, or to help the reader’s struggle with insomnia. But I don’t want to be flippant about it. In the words of your beloved G.K. Chesterton, “I don’t have time to be flippant”. So keep coming back and you may find deep truth hidden in the lives of two young boys, or inspiration found in the flight of a hummingbird. The annoying bark of a neighbor’s dog may produce a story funny enough to brighten your day or a tale of driving in Los Angeles may make you realize your life is not so bad.

All of this is to say thank you for coming back to read my ramblings and for those of you who contribute with ramblings of your own. As I work to become a better writer I will continue to bring my thoughts and I am happy to have you along for the ride.