A Tri-Athlete in a Twinkie Suit

Last year my wife and I wrote lists of things we would like to accomplish or see in our lifetime. As soon as we decided to do this I began writing furiously as the ideas and dreams flowed. Before long I had my list divided into 5 or 6 sub-lists of things to do. I have a section on foods I want to eat in different countries, I have people I want to meet, things I want to do, places I want to see, and specific experiences such as "Run with the bulls in Spain".

When I write a list like this I pretty much write it and then keep living life. When I see an opportunity to do one of the things on my list I will do it but I don't necessarily plan my life around my list. My wife, on the other hand is a bit more rigid when it comes to lists. If she writes something on a list a magical metamorphosis takes place and those ordinary words become a mandate from above. So if my wife writes something on her list, she begins organizing her life in a way that leads towards checking off the items on the list.

For example, my wife said she would like to complete a triathlon. So, she immediately found one to enter, bought books and magazines telling her how to prepare, and she trained hard all summer. Not only did she finish her triathlon, but she finished about an hour faster than she had hoped. A friend of ours who is a personal trainer came last year to watch and encourage her throughout the race and after the race she decided that she would compete in the triathlon this year. Then she began recruiting others and now has about 15 other people who said they will enter the race.

All of this has led me to add another thing on my "list for life". I now want to compete in a triathlon without ever training even one minute for it. At first I said I would compete and eat a box of Twinkies in the process... which I still might do. Then I said I wanted to run the final two legs of the race (Biking and running) in a Twinkie outfit. I don't even like Twinkies, I just think it would be hilarious to see a Twinkie passing up serious competitors as we approach the finish line. The problem with this idea is that it would only be funny if the Twinkie was one of the better athletes out there. I have daydreams of seeing a Twinkie happily running a joking with people as they agonize through the final stages. Or, maybe it would be funny if the Twinkie was crawling by the end all in an effort to finish the race. Either way, I think I will support my wife as a tri-athlete this year and join with her… and I’ll keep you posted of the Twinkie decision.